While Carly was picking out an outfit (tonight) that she will wear (tomorrow) it dawned on her that she puts way too much effort into selecting outfit choices. "I want to look like I tried but I didn't really try". Women will actually waste time thinking 'what will a guy think when he sees me in this' instead of just picking something they like! And those men will never bother telling women what they think of their outfit anyways!
WHHAAATTT goes on in your sad little BRAINS men of the world?! For instance, the picture to the left shows a perfect example of what I'm talking about. We probably spent HOURS of time planning the perfect outfits, jewelery, hairstyles, and makeup. And I'm sure not one guy complimented us on our fabulousness. I will never know what the fucckkk goes on in guys minds, but this this is why I'm taking the time out to create a blog post dedicated to the sad loser men of the world that us women are just dying to impress. Since men are honestly a mystery to me and I will never EVER understand any of them here are a list of things women want you to know! The LUCKY 13 STEPS that will hopefully let men know wtf we want. There's only 13 to start but future blogs will update this list which can be endlesssssss:1. If you like a girls outift, makeup, hair, anything, just tell her. For all you know she probably planned it 3 days in advance.
2. If a girl is with her girlfriends dancing around a pile of their pocketbooks and shoes, they have no interest in guys that night. They just wanna dance. *brownie points to any man who gets this reference*
3. If a girl looks interested in the guy she's with-leave her alone. If a girl is with her boyfriend- WHAT in GODS NAME makes you think she's going to respond to you screaming "yo ma whats yo siigggnnn!" We both know you're not that interested in the zodiac so shut the fuck up.
4. If you offer a girl a drink and she turns you down don't be discouraged. Maybe she had too much too drink already. Maybe she'd rather just talk. Maybe she's got epilepsy and doesn't drink.
5. If you offer a girl a drink and she turns you down, laughs at her friends, then immediately leaves you- it's b/c you look old as fuck and she thinks you're going to roofie her so chill.
6. Don't be a pussy. Don't avoid a girl you're attracted to b/c you're intimidated. Man up- dont know what to say? Refer to rule 1 to start.
7. Some girls just want ass. Don't be surprised if a girl just wants to hook up with you and nothing more. Refer to the Christina Aguilera song "Let me get mine, you get yours". The title is self-explanatory.
8. Just like men have their wing man- girls have their wing-woman (or in some cases due to a triangle of friendship, wing women). So don't get your hopes up too high if a girl seems interested in you. Beware- you may be the 'ugly friend' a girls wing woman is forced to chat with.
9. Take 2 minutes extra and put some thought into your outfit. We spend HOURS trying to please you and it's rough going into a bar/club/show and realizing we wasted our time because every guy there is wearing tshirts and jeans they threw on at the last minute.
10. If you are an international student in the United States that goes to Manhattanville College you are given full permission to wear whatever the fuck you want and talk to whomever you please b/c chances are you are stunningly gorgeous or have a sexy accent and either will take you far in relation to picking up a girl at the bar.
11. DO NOT GRAB A GIRLS ASS TO GET HER ATTENTION. It's not cute. Cat calls also fall under this law. Seriously, it doesn't work. Unless you're involved with law number 12 in which case grab me all you want.
12. If you're lucky enough to find your way back to a womans place of residence- don't assume you're spending the night, but don't feel the need to meet 'em, freak 'em, and leave 'em ASAP. If she comes to your room, you need to let her know asap whether or not you want her to spend the night. Otherwise you may have a stage 5 clinger on your hands.
13. Don't lead a girl on. Why waste her time? Don't tell her she's the prettiest girl you've seen, text her all night- then mysteriously disappear-never to talk to her again. Rude!
-Courtney
No comments:
Post a Comment