"My Plastic Surgeon Doesn't Want Me Doing Any Activity Where Balls Fly At My Nose!"

I am currently sitting wide awake in my bedroom listening to the greatest conversations to ever take place. My room mates, suite mates, girls I live with at school, etc.. decide to literally 'change the spelling of words' as Carly so cleverly pointed out earlier. For example, here 2 words spelled correctly, but then used in a sentence as my fellow residents would.

1.) Bitch. "Ok I don't know why but that girl was like, a total BETCH to me!"
2.) Shit. "I saw a ton of guys the other day that were like so incredibly hot and all I could think was holy SHAT!" (shat said very fast).

Their topics of choice usually involve any of the following:
1.) Boys they've hooked up with
2.) Drinking
3.) Boys they drink with and then hook up with
4.) Like, Shopping
5.) Betches.
6.) Themselves.
7.) Betches.
8.) Like, other totally super important things in today's world. Like, $1200 shoes!

TOTTTAALLLLLLLLLYYYYYYY!

If my life were a special on television it would most likely take over all of comedy central and be viewed 24/7/4/12. (Figure it out) Carly and I are fabulous people with fabulous lives yet we always have fabulously DRAMATIC suites/roommates/living situaTIONNNS. A great friend once said, "I feel as though Mville is one long episode of Punk'd. 24/7 Manhattanville is punking me". Who said this? It was Carly. If the suite I live in were turned into a movie it would most likely resemble one of the pictures:



It's as if Regina George got together with the girl that spilled pigs blood all over Carrie in the movie, Carrie, and had crazy lesbian sex (I don't understand it. How is it at all fun? The scissor position will never make sense to me) and somehow created life from that experience and their babies grew up to be porn stars who met valley girls in Cali and then theyyy hooked up and had more babies and those babies were my suite mates.
Regina George + Girl who spilled pigs blood on Carrie + Porn Stars + Valley Girls + Wayans Brothers in the movie White Chicks....well, the Cast of Clueless (sitcom and movie) = Suite mates.
Now I'm gunna try and lay down before I have like, a total B.F.! (Bitch Fit)
-Courtney